I walk up the steps towards the heavy dark wooden doors. I’ve noticed this building for years, with its arched windows and impressive cement structure, but this was the first time I would walk inside. I step into the office where visitors buy tickets for the museum. The woman sitting behind the desk is heavy set, with blunt dark bangs that fall just above her eyes. When I ask to buy a ticket, she smiles sweetly, “I’m sorry the art museum is closed today.”
She hands me a flyer with information about the new exhibit that would be opening next week. The color scheme on the flyer matches the purple, blue, and green floral shirt she is wearing. I spoke with her a while longer about the museum before I stepped back outside. Well now what.
The whole idea of visiting an art museum began with a book, as many of my grand ideas do. I picked up Changing the Subject: Art and Attention in the Internet Age by Sven Birkets my freshman year of college. I had just finished a media literacy class, and I wished to explore human interactions with technology further. I purchased the book, but it sat on my shelf for almost two years. It just happened to catch my eye again as I was cleaning out my bookshelf in the New Year.
Sven Birkets series of essays reflect on how our culture, and our personal identities, have changed with the internet. Birkets argues that the internet has changed our way of thinking, keeping it shallow and surface level, and distracting us from deeper analysis. I was startled by this thought, and immediately took action. I deleted all of my social media off of my cell phone. My cell phone was my notorious vice when it came to mindlessly scrolling. I was eager to disconnect, to live more deeply without technology. I wanted to listen to music, look at art, and read books in a more intentional way. I decided my first step would be to visit an art museum.
When this idea was taking shape, I imagined walking into the gallery, a lone stranger, studying each piece intently. Taking notes on which artists were my favorites. When I discovered the museum was closed, that put a damper on my daydream. So instead of being an art connoisseur for the day, I wandered through the stores of downtown Fort Collins. This was an enjoyable activity as well, especially when I made my way back to the coffee shop where I bought Changing the Subject, the book that spurred this whole expedition.
When I walked in, I was greeted by the squeak of wooden floors, the clinking of dishes, and the shrill squeal of the espresso machine. I wasn’t all that interested in buying coffee, so I made my way back to where I remembered the small independent bookstore to be. Books were still being sold, but now jewelry, small plants, and other art pieces joined them on the shelves. This time I was drawn to buy a book of poetry, I’d had my eye on the author for some time now.
With my new book in hand, I headed up to the loft to find a seat. Upstairs the walls were filled with art. I carefully walked around, studying each vibrant oil painting. When I reached the end of the series, a hand written note was pinned to the wall. It was from the artist, explaining the inspiration behind her pieces. She was a recent art undergraduate. As another creative twenty something, I strongly connected with her work, more than any painting I would have found in a gallery.
I spent the rest of my afternoon taking photos of street art. As the cold winter wind hit my cheeks, I felt fully present. As if I was waking from a long dream. Part of the reason I was so moved by Changing the Subject wasn’t due to my ill use of technology, it had something more to do with making a choice. For the past few months, I’ve felt as if I was simply floating along, rather than pursuing some greater goal. Even while my plans had changed, deciding to explore Fort Collins, to look for art around me, was invigorating. It wasn’t as if I now had all my long term goals aligned, but it was the most conscious choice I had made in a while.
I’ve grown up in the internet age, and there’s a delicate balance between using it as a tool, and letting it control you. Outside of technology, Changing the Subject presents the reader with a broader choice, to either blindly accept or to question. I realized when I questioned, I brought power back into my life. Even if it is something as small as keeping Facebook off my phone, I know it is something I am doing intentionally. I’ve always been a questioner, a noticer, a thinker; I just needed a reminder of that.
I’m thrilled to be writing again, and I will be consistently updating the blog. I look forward to returning to St. Thomas. The short month I spent on the island last semester had such an impact on me, sometimes it’s still hard for me to believe it was real. This semester I travel back with even more questions. Technology obviously plays a huge role in how I present my writing to the world, so I thank you for your attention, for taking the time to read.
Go check out Brit Horsfall’s artwork on Instagram @brithorsfallart.